Personal Growth

Be kind to yourself

The difficult part about writing about random life moments is when one comes up that totally jacks up your brain, and you can’t focus on anything else.

For the first time in a very, very long time, I’ve been struck wordless. Normally – at least what has become “normally” for me, finally – I’ll have a million things that pop into my brain at any given time and I’m ready to drop some ink.

What it comes down to is, when I’m in an emotional upheaval, I can’t write. It’s because I’m all caught up in my head, and it blocks my ability to see those moments that I usually enjoy sharing. My brain is too busy thinking, “Maybe I should have…” or “Yeah, but what if…” and I can’t seem to get around it.

So, what would an #inspiredboss do in this situation?

Not being an #inspiredboss at the moment, I don’t have an answer.

I guess the simple solution is to write something, anything – own what’s holding me back and just get it out, right?

Life will always throw you a random curve ball

It’s no wonder I was such a wreck for so long, considering this is just a tiny blip of what my brain went through for too long. But the reality is, that’s life. Just when you think you got your poo together, life feeds you a laxative.

Before, I would have just let things stew and stew and stew until they boiled over. I’ve come a long way since then, and I’ve learned a bit about letting go and moving on.

When something in your life happens that trips you up mentally, the trick is to ask yourself whether you would react in the same way if it happened again. If you would, then accept your action and move on. If you would do it differently, then figure out what you think you should have done and do it next time. Make your apologies, if necessary; people need to know that you own your actions.

For many years, I let my actions be guided by what other people might think. “Do this” because, if I don’t, then this person will think that and I don’t want them to think blah, blah, blah. “Do that” because if I don’t, this person’s feelings might get hurt, blah, blah, blah. I never allowed what I thought or felt to enter into the equation anywhere.

All that got me was a bleeding ulcer and nearly a one-way ticket to the looney bin.

Empathy to the extreme.

Take care of yourself

Sometimes there’s nothing you can do that will make a situation right all the way around. There will be times someone leaves unhappy. I think the best thing we can do is ask ourselves if we did the best we could and whether our heart was in the right place.

At the end of the day, if you do something to make someone happy and it leaves you feeling tattered, did anyone truly benefit? Would the person you satisfied still be happy if they knew what the cost to you was for them to be happy?

At least, it’s unlikely they would still be happy if they cared one wit about you.

Take care of yourself. We aren’t any good to the people we care about if we try to please everyone except ourselves. It’s not about being selfish; it’s about caring for yourself as much as you do others.

Think about all of those Facebook memes you see daily reminding you of the power of random acts of kindness – and then remember to be kind to yourself as well.

Let the sun shine through.

PHOTO (Clouds) by Tina Bosse #goldwingadventures

PHOTO (Rainbows) by Kelly McCrimmon on Unsplash

#itsokaytonotbeokay #phoneafriend #randomactsofkindness #bekindtoyourself #coffeebreak

From columnist to blogger, Tina began writing in 2015. She blends the various bits of her life — professional, entrepreneurial, and personal — and shares her experiences with you. Tina's Coffee Break became the means for her to express herself on seemingly random subjects, but subjects that are on her mind and in her heart at the moment — things we can all relate to many times. Simply put, Tina writes about life’s moments. Tina has managed her court reporting business for over 20 years. She owned her community newspaper for several years where she first discovered her love for writing through her weekly newspaper column, "Tina's Coffee Break." She was a member of her community's town council for six years, the last three presiding over it as president. Drawing from all facets of her life experience, Tina now provides business strategy guidance to others working to build their own success story. A mother of two, wife for 32 years, and businesswoman of 25 years, a piece of Tina is in everything she writes.

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