There are a lot of articles out there that preach/teach self-growth, surrounding yourself with your “tribe,” and other positive vibe-type content. BUT… Life, especially business life, isn’t usually wrapped up with pretty ribbons and bows. What do we do when we can’t separate ourselves from people whose single-most important goal seems to be to break you down?
Life forces us to interact with a variety of people
Sometimes our careers or just life in general forces us to interact with people that we would normally avoid. Oftentimes, these are people who are, at heart, insecure, although they tend to be obnoxiously loud and brash to offset their hidden insecurities.
Insecurity in and of itself is not a failing. It’s something that someone who wants to experience self-growth will work on improving. I can say from personal experience that I continue to work on strengthening my confidence in myself. It’s an ongoing journey I am comfortable sharing with many, many people. #myjourney
However, when you pair insecurity with ego, things tend to get a little trickier. Ego, in extreme, is not a positive attribute. Add to it unreconciled feelings of insecurity, and it’s a melting pot for drama and chaos. I’ve encountered people like this, and they can make or break a team, a relationship, or any other combination of people who are supposed to be working together toward a common goal.
These people tend to be simply too insecure to ever own their mistakes. Instead, they perfect the craft of planting seeds of redirection or misdirection, the famous “smoke-and-mirrors” technique, thereby ensuring that people are too busy looking at someone else to look at them. This assures that their own actions, their mistake that could easily have just been owned, will hopefully never see the light of day.
What do you do when their version of “truth” reflects negatively on you? When you have become their point of redirection?
I suggest that you do not respond or engage with these people – you will NOT come out on top because there are no rules of engagement that they follow. Frankly, all we can do is deal with the fallout the best we can and know that anyone who matters to us, including ourselves, knows the truth of who we are. Honesty and integrity will prevail.
Own your mistakes
Be a person who owns your mistakes. Learn from them and move on. It’s not always easy, but at the end of the day, it’s much easier than running around playing the blame-anyone-but-me game. I can’t imagine living like that. I certainly can’t imagine how a person who lives like that could ever get a good night’s rest. #ownit
If I’m going to walk around with a sick feeling in my gut, I’d much rather it be because I drank one pot too much of coffee rather than the constant worry of when my blame-game is going to catch up with me. #notworthit
Life is about making mistakes. I’ve made enough of them, as I’m sure you have. The best we can do is try to learn from them, hopefully grow as an individual because of them, and be ready and willing to work our way through the next one.
Life is also about choices. If I can choose between walking in the light or walking in the shadows, I chose the light. If I can choose between being a snake or being a flamingo, I chose to be a flamingo.
From columnist to blogger, Tina began writing in 2015. She blends the various bits of her life — professional, entrepreneurial, and personal — and shares her experiences with you.
Tina's Coffee Break became the means for her to express herself on seemingly random subjects, but subjects that are on her mind and in her heart at the moment — things we can all relate to many times.
Simply put, Tina writes about life’s moments.
Tina has managed her court reporting business for over 20 years. She owned her community newspaper for several years where she first discovered her love for writing through her weekly newspaper column, "Tina's Coffee Break." She was a member of her community's town council for six years, the last three presiding over it as president. Drawing from all facets of her life experience, Tina now provides business strategy guidance to others working to build their own success story.
A mother of two, wife for 32 years, and businesswoman of 25 years, a piece of Tina is in everything she writes.